Where my beauty is

thats where your beauty is, at least thats where i find it.
yeh, your beautiful, incase you havent been reminded.
your like a beauty queen, Movie star, virgin princess
and ur aroma’s like them flowers next to burning incense.
thats where ur beauty lies, i say just let it keep.
cos where u shut your eyes and rest i call it beauty’s sleep.
ur beauty’s vague, but its real and its tangible.
words on a page, cant reveal or hold a candle to you.

thats where her beauty’s kept, its locked within her spirit
its in her talents and her ethic to do something with it.
its in her strength, in her courage in her smile.
the drying of her tears, in her years in her frown.
in the sweat above her brow. her chipped nails.
its within the keeping of her vows, her strict yells.
her beauty’s in her perseverance.
read this aloud and the beauty’s in the person hearing.
you hear?

thats where the beauty’s seen. its in her shape
in her face, in the dress worn on the first date.
the way the hair stands and the way the garms fit.
the grace in the walk, the make-up (just a bit)
just enough, its in warmth of her touch.
her smooth skin , her everything is MuCh
it’s alot. its what makes her hot. it makes her beautiful.
the eyes of the beholder makes it true for you too.

thats where my beauty is… its in MY eyes, in my ears, in my mind, in my senses
im defenseless.
because my beauty lives.
she has a name and the single sight of her makes me breathless- if i can stretch it…
then my beauty is above all else, cos all others are subjective.
ive got one for self.
cos my beauty is defined by her.
its in her flaws, in her pores in her character… i cant get mad her.
its in her being, no matter how she’s being.
thats what i call beauty no matter what any one else is seeing

Deola Sulola – click here to visit his page and leave him a note to say how much you loved this.

Children on Diets

Children on diets

It’s sad enough to think of teenagers battling with their body image, but what about children? Waking up this morning and wacking on the TV to get a Jeremy Kyle fix wasn’t what I expected this time around. Admittedly, I was a little earlier than usual and I caught the end of GMTV’s Lorraine Kelly’s show.

 

A mother had come on the show to highlight the issue of children going on diets to slim down. Her daughter was seven years old. Sugar editor, Annabel Brog said that parents should take responsibility for their insecurities and do more to protect their children from ‘diets’ and negative associations of body image. 

During the discussion it was revealed that terms such as anorexia and bulimia of being banded around the playground as insults. I suppose in some ways, at least they’re not being used as compliments. 

 The girl guides, GirlguidingUK conducted a which revealed a shocking 33% of 11 years old girls believe that they are too fat and a third of them say they hate their tummies.

Scarlett Johansson speaks out

Scarlett Johansson, more known for her super sexy body than her acting, has spoken out about implications made by the media (tabloids in particular) and deserves appropriate recognition for it.

It is about time that someone who knows their ability to influence speaks out against crappy publications publishing bogus lies about a star’s method of losing the envious (or not) 14lbs. In the Huffington Post, she admonishes these accusations and suggestions that she has used extreme dieting to achieve an ridiculous amount of weight. In her post, Johansson also takes the time to refer to National Eating Disorders Association figures to back up her statements, stating the statistics of how many people suffer at the hands of mainly media-enhanced, perceptions of beauty.

Just recently I posted a link to a video from Dove’s campaign for real beauty, which shows the digital enhancement and the lengths that models/actresses/singers and other people in the supposed limelight have to go to in order to achieve this ‘beauty’.

Do I really think that this is going to have an effect on the world? Probably not. But, surely every little helps. Pat on the back to Scarlett.

Beautiful pic from whalesalad

Characteristics of a beautiful face

Do you think that a beautiful face can be classified by measurements? Or, do you think that there are certain characteristics that qualify a beautiful face?

According to a study at Regensburg and Rostock universities in Germany, there are certain characteristics which distinguish a more attractive face in comparison to an ‘unsexy’ face. The study recognises that throughout history perceptions of beauty have not been constant. But, yet they still insist on trying to classify beauty using both genders. Click here to have a look. There website states that you can find out “why some faces are more beautiful than others” and it gives you links to another website to see how your face would look if it had perfect symmetry, click here if you want to have a go.

Check out the study and let me know your thoughts.

Dove’s campaign for real beauty

This striking video makes up part of Dove’s campaign to highlight the distorted image of beauty. It shows the transformation of a model looking particularly average into a billboard standard model.

Would love to hear your feedback and thoughts about this video and the campaign.

A parents contribution to perceptions of beauty

There are so many discussions out there concerning the way people view themselves. People often use parents to lay blame, but should they be doing more for their children from a young age to stop them becoming overly worried about self-image?

When speaking to people, some say that parents often shower their children with compliments about how beautiful their child is. But, I ask, what is wrong with this? Some say these parents are setting up their kids for a big fall – because they are failing to teach these children that ‘beauty isn’t everything’. But, I totally disagree – I think this is exactly what parents are doing by sending their children to school everyday, dressing them in the same uniform as every other child. They are going to school and learning the foundations and life skills, no?

Deola Sulola, from London disagrees at a recent debate he had a few words to say:

I think parents should educate their children to be open-minded and confident with their self-image. But, I do blame the media, like so many others for their perception of beauty. I can’t imagine children when they first join school bullying others because they’re not pretty – but, I think this may begin once they reach an age where they are susceptible to more influences from the media.

Weaves VS Afros

In a recent debate at Queen Mary, University of London, the ACS (Afro-Caribbean Society) took on the issue of natural hair versus weaves and extensions. The debate on the surface may seem superficial, and to some pointless – but actually, it churned out interesting discussions.

Expecting a minimal turn-out, I was pleasantly surprised. Nearly 50 people turned up the event, and the organisers put on a good show, with interludes using youtube to get the debate going.

I was accompanied by Aulelia, who has her own views on the debate. The interesting points I took from the event was that so many of them referred to men, and the influence that they have on black women’s perception of beauty and self-image.

Many believed that the reasons why women choose to wear a weave is because they prefer straight hair because it is finer and is perceived by others as a sign of beauty. They said that too many negative connotations are associated with keeping a natural style such as an afro. Watch the following link and you will see what I mean.

What was also interesting was some points made about how the style of hair relates back to history. Maintaining a natural hair style such as an afro seems to show a sign of ‘low birth’. This isn’t hard to believe, but the fact that people use it as a reason as to why they wear their hair in a particular style is still staggering. In this day and age, where people have access to all sorts of treatments, colurants, extensions etc. I don’t think that people should have to justify the way that they wear their hair. I know of some people who change their style on a monthly basis. Is this so terrible?

Most people at the event seemed to stress that they don’t really care whether people choose to wear a weave or leave it in a natural style, but as long as it is styled well. If it’s a weave, apparently you shouldn’t be able to tell. If it’s an afro you should maintain it well, combing regularly to keep the shape. But, really – is it that offensive if someone has a ridiculous weave? Does it effect your life? Probably not. Sometimes I do think people have too much time on their hands to have the time to comment on others’ image.

The boys didn’t stay quiet on this topic either. They were ready to get involved on this topic which was good to hear. None really seemed to take a particular stance, I think in fear of infuriating the ladies. Most of them said that they don’t really mind in which style the ladies wear their hair as long as it looks good, and is maintained. Here’s what some of the boys said:

Dove Hair Minimising Antiperspirant

Dove Wild Rose - Hair Minimising Aerosol

After Julia Roberts made the serious error of stepping on to red carpet without shaving her arm pits, girls have made a serious effort to make sure their under-arms are hair free. From painful waxing, to threading and constant shaving. Sometimes, you just want to let your guard down – but, with the unforgiving Facebook tags – do you seriously want to run the risk?

Unilever has tried to come to girls’ (and boys’ if they fancy) rescue and launched a hair minimising deodorant. But is it another one of these gimmicky products that don’t actually work?

Look! magazine have sent me a can of this delightful stuff and have asked me to sample it over a period of four weeks. We shall see how I get on with it. Apparently it gradually makes underarm hair finer and slows down the rate of growth. Thankfully I don’t have too much of an issue in that area (or others I’ll have you know) – but, if it reduces the amount of upkeep – I’m game. Other bloggers are currently trying, have a look here.  But if you have tried it…let me know how you have got on with it or – if you haven’t why don’t you let me know why not.

Big Brother’s Nikki Grahame is releasing book on anorexia

Nikki Grahame known for her whinging on Big Brother 7 is releasing a book based on her battle with anorexia.

Having suffered from the eating disorder for nine years – one doctor has reportedly said it was the worse case of anorexia he had seen in 32 years.

 

 

Nikki Grahame…and her best bits from BB7

The book, I am sure was a therapeutic process for the whingey reality TV star. But, is it going to sell? Do you really want to read about Nikki Grahame’s trials and tribulations?

Tantrum-throwing Nikki, has battled with chronic anorexia nervosa from the age of eight until she was 19 – at one point her case was so severe she went into a coma. She also spent two years in Great Ormand Street Hospital.

According to the reality ’star’, she began to feel ‘fat’ at just seven years old and to combat this she started to deprive herself from treats. She also began throwing her  packed lunches away. At eight, doctors diagnosed her as anorexic, weighing just under three stone.

As a result of her eating disorder, her family also suffered - leading to the attempted suicides of both her mother and sister.

Nikki began to recover at Rhodes Farm. But, anorexia has stunted her growth and she has had two boob jobs. Unlike healthy girls, she has never had a period.

Free Samba classes at Bar Salsa, London work up a sweat

Samba classes may be something that you’ve never thought about, I know I never have. Samba reminds me of Salsa, and Salsa classes to me – are for the mid-life crisis sufferers. But, I have changed my mind.

Bar Salsa in London is offering free Samba lessons a Tuesday night – and I took full advantage. It’s a great way to enjoy yourself with friends, colleagues or a partner – and (!) a fun way to get fit.

As you descend into the bar, a huge plasma screen projects live images from the dance floor. Dancers whirl in heels and kick their legs to unimaginable heights – and intimidating introduction to the world of South American dance. But, don’t be put off. Most of the class are beginners and those who are more experienced are woven into the group, and are willing to lend a hand. Many have come down after work with colleagues, although some remain at the bar sipping cheap cocktails or slugging beer.

The class begins with a few stretches, which may leave you feeling silly in as you lunge in a pencil skirt. I opted for the whole jean and boot combo – thank God I didn’t feel like to much of a numpty. There was about 40 people in the class, mainly women; only a few of the men leave the bar to experiment with the Samba beat. Strewn along the sides are people’s belongings, so you have to keep an eye out.

Ella Peck, the instructor – moves into the basic Samba movements, beginning at a slow pace. Forward, back,  together or something – feet get muddled quickly as she quickly progresses to faster movements, alternating feet (which is probably the worst thing you think she could do to you!). Above the class on stage, Ella shouts instructions – but, it’s soon evident she won’t be correctly your Samba individually. She calls her assistants  and they show you how the perfect feet should move. (Don’t worry – huge amounts of jealousy is to be expected – they are fantastic.)

Basic Samba (Part 1) - Click on the link to watch some basic moves

Most of us had smiles on our faces during a brief break – other grasped for their waiting cocktails. The more experienced whip off their trainers and wack on a pair of killer heels – women, mostly – ready for the next dance. This is when I realised I should brace myself for something….although, I wasn’t sure what more she could throw at us.

As she moved into the next routine, she relies 0n demonstration without music. We tried it out a couple of times, in a formation similar to line-dancing. Watch out who you choose to stand behind – an over-enthusiast and it could be game over. Us girls are encouraged to make huge motions with our hips, sashaying left and right. Trying to combine leg movements with arms can be challenging – especially for the uncoordinated. I got by, with a huge amount of concentration! But, there’s no point being self-conscious; as most people are in the same situation.

With my newly acquired skills – or not – the class was then split into two, and we were asked to perform our best backwards shimmy to the other end of the room. “Great.” I thought, thinking of all those spectators. But, I sucked it in and got over it – remembering I couldn’t back out without being noticed. This exercise clearly seperates the bad and the good. The embarrassment is eked out to what I have dubbed ‘The Circle of Shame’. Ella asks everyone to perform the same routine in a circle which encompasses the whole dance floor. It only lasts a few minutes, but by this time, you either have it or you don’t. Arms folded protectively around bodies marks out the self-conscious, as do the curling of hair around the ears. To my surprise, I didn’t get it – overwhelming stage fright got the better of me.

But, when the lesson ended most of us were sweating and thirsty, but this didn’t deter the urge to keep on dancing. Bar Salsa is a nightclub and is open late, so you can keep on practising your moves, probably after you’ve had a drink or two. The live music is good, a mixture of salsa, lambada and samba. South Americans frequent the venue, and are willing to give you a twirl on the dance floor, as I found out to my surprise. Be warned – they are very very good! And, could have you smiling for days.

Click here for more information.